TA, Divorce Brainstorm

WATCO divorce on the quality of life of the children affected?



(A) divorce will (B) decrease a child's quality of life because(A1) being caught in a middle of a parental conflict and losing the consistant care of one parent will (C) potentially cause them emotional, social, and spiritual harm.



Implicit Assumption - (C) causing children emotional, social, and spiritual harm (B) may put them at a much higer risk for drug and alcohol abuse, sexual promiscuity, poor school performance, and various kinds of victimization.



Audience: I'm thinking of writing to middle class parents who may be separated and/or contemplating divorce.



Intro: When a marriage is dead and beyond hope of resuscitation, it is needful to have a means to end it. Two examples from the Philippines are illustrated here. Two days after their temple marriage, a husband deserted his young wife and has not been heard from for over 10 years. A married woman fled and obtained a divorce in another country, but her husband, who remained behind, is still married in the eyes of the Philippine law. Since there is no provision for divorce in that country, these innocent victims of desertion have no way to end their married status and go forward with their lives. (Oaks, 2007). The children of the 1970's were the first generation to view divorce as 'normal' and/or socially acceptable. Before the 1970's, divorce was stigmatized. It was seen as embarrassing and/or unnacceptable in the eyes of society. Nowadays, however, divorce seems to be as commonplace almost as filing your taxes. People speak now of 'starter' marriages, and being married and divorced two and three and four times doesn't seem to affect them at all. What are the reasons for this shift in societal values? What are the consequences to the parties involved, even the innocent parties, the children? What affects, negative or positive, does divorce have on those who are not at fault and have no control over and no say in the decisions of their parents?



PROS:

• not getting divorced allows children to grow up in a two parent home
• avoids a whole lot of running around, 'switching the kids off' between mother and father.
• choosing to work through marital problems may strengthen or ressurrect the marriage.
• avoids financial problems that come with splitting into two households.

CONS:

• gives the feeling that the parents are 'just doing it for the kids'. love has died and they're simply staying together for the children
• expose kids to unhealthy marital discord: fighting, nagging, etc....
• may give children false view of the sanctity of marriage.
• may aggrevate the marital discord more, especially in abusive situations.

Refernce:

Elder Dallin H. Oaks. Divorce. Ensign, May 2007. Retreived on 09 March 2008 from http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-690-25,00.html

RA, Is Money the Culprit in Most Divorces?

In this article By Liz Pulliam Weston entitled, "Money isn't the culprit in most divorces" http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/SuddenlySingle/MoneyIsntTheCulpritInMostDivorces.aspx, the author tries to persuade the reader to reevaluate the real causes of divorce, and put away the conventional thinking that all marital problems can be traced back to money. After all, there are as many happy poor couples as there are unhappy rich couples.

Ms. Weston is definitely a credible source. She is a graduate of the certified financial planner training program at the University of California, Irvine. She has also authored many books and writes a financial column for MSN Money.

She directs her remarks toward the general public who haven't taken a deeper look into the causes of divorce, but instead buy into the common thinking that it's all money related.

***STAR***

Sufficient: She does a good job of including enough data and findings and examples and history to make it a thourough article. She starts way back at World War II and explains where the root of money problems and divorce came from. She does a good job of relating that to what we now beleive.

Typical: Her sources are good sources but they are not typical to most people.

Accurate: I find her sources to be very accurate. She quotes experts and doesn't twist or bend what they said, but instead builds on their comments to clarify.

Relevant: I think this article is relevant mostly. She stuck to the point and did a good job of quoting the experts and reviewing the findings of her sources.

Overall Effectiveness: I felt that this was a fairly effective argument, but I'm still not convinced. All throughout the article, the experts she quoted seemed to hint that money really was a big factor, but that it also was, in many cases, used as a cover all excuse for divorce. I think the issues they brought up are big ones, such as the 'jerk' factor and incompatibility. However, I think that money problems, such as debt, cause just as much friction in marriage if not more. Debt is thing that grinds away at the resolve of the two spouses on a daily basis, just as the other factors do. Overall, she had great points, but I think in the end she downplays the seriousness of money problems that lead to divorce.

FW, Family

Families are awesome. I'm starting to debate whether to do a my next paper on the consequences of family influence on a child's growth and development spiritually, mentally, physically, socially, and all other aspects.

The family is really a catch all organization. A family team has the ability to prepare each son or daughter for all of the different roles they will have in life. For example, family has prepared me for marriage. When I got home from a mission to Canada a year and a half ago, I was not anywhere near ready for marriage. Most people think that coming off a mission, a kid would be at his/her spiritual peak, but not in my case. When I came off my mission I was emotionally sapped. I was a wreck. It took several months of counseling with my mother and father to get me back two emotional health. I consider that counseling one of the leading factors in preparing me for marriage. I was able to learn how to communicate feelings that are difficult to put into words. I was able to talk about my deepest rooted feelings and thoughts and work through them with those I love most.

Development is made possible within the bonds of a loving family through trust. I trust my mom and dad implicitly. I beleive that they want only the best for me, their son, and that they have my best interest in mind when they give counsel. I don't find that same trust hardly anywhere else, except with my wife, who is also a member of my family.

My family has helped me develop socially. It was a great thing for me to be able to bring dates over to my mom's house to have them meet my parents and borther's and sisters. It's been a positive experience every time one of my brothers have brought a date to my mom's house where we get to meet her and ask her questions in a safe environment. Mom's house is also where all of our family gatherings happen. Big Sunday dinners allow all of the siblings to congregate and socialize together. There we talk about our relationships, our educational pursuits, our jobs or careers. We debate political views and theological views and views on social matters. We discuss sports, reminice about memories, swap mission stories, and play games. All of these wholesome activities lend themselves to the development of each individual in every aspect of life.